people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
