Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
