There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
