I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
