i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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