how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
