dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
