it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
