East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Found the puke drawer
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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