Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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