Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
