The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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