it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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