I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
