ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
