wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
