You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so let's talk penis.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
