You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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