I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
