We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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