ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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