I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
