Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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