ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
