Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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