I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
