"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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