ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
