Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize