3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
