there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
high people should be assigned attendants
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
