NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
