please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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