I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
