Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
