We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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