Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
