If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
