i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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