i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
