Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
