You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
