yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
