what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
50% drunk capacity currently
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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