There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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