May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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