Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
