did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
