Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
