He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
