Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
