you guys were way drunker than both of me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
