Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
