the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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