I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize