i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize