Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
