Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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