I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
