i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
