do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
