i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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