Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
