i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
