I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
