Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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