did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
