yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
